...that day approaches.

I get all nostalgic.

For someone with a strangely non-existent memory, I somehow manage to drudge up all sorts of old wounds when I know Valentine's Day is coming. Which brings me to this:

We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It’s easy. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there’s still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. You will remember having conversations with this person that never actually happened. You will recall sexual trysts with this person that never technically occurred. This is because the individual who embodies your personal definition of love does not really exist. The person is real, and the feelings are real—but you create the context. And the context is everything. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.

- Chuck Klosterman, Killing Yourself to Live

It's moments like these that I typically rely on one of two movies to get me through the night.

Tonight, I won't do either one of them. Instead, I'm filling my brain with Wallace & Gromit and cuddling up to the most non-threatening member of the male species I know. Even amidst all of the reminiscing and (coincidental?) run-ins ... I feel strangely content. For the first time in my life, I'm truly comfortable where I'm at. I don't feel like I need those movies as "therapy" anymore. You know how certain songs, certain places are associated with certain people, certain moments? And how those associations can completely ruin an otherwise perfect thing? I don't think the time has ever been better to break some of those unfortunate connections. And I'm starting with those two movies.

So on that note...thanks, Bogey. It's been real.


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Now playing: Air - Don't Be Light
via FoxyTunes